Husbands: The Children You Never Knew You’d Have

Most brides spend their wedding mornings luxuriating in bed with their husbands, eating strawberries in their adorable wedding nighties, possibly hitting up the spa, and getting couple’s massages before enjoying a romantic dinner under the stars on a beach. I spent mine setting up the backyard, picking up the BBQ preparing food, and entertaining out of town guests at our post-wedding bash. Casey spent his morning buying a dirt bike – a brand new Honda 110. Because instead of strawberries and massages, when we woke up and began to plan our morning, he mentioned (for the millionth time) how much he wanted the bike. I had made him wait until we were married to buy one because of all the reasons and now that the deed was done and he had his wife, it was time to collect his prize.

I didn’t realize the day I married my husband would also be the day I adopted my first boy. Though he’s perfectly capable of taking care of himself, he would rather leave that responsibility up to me. I have many motherly wifely responsibilities but some of the most important ones are listed below.

1. I schedule all of his appointments. Doctors, dentists, play dates with his friends date nights with friends – if it has to be scheduled, I’m doing it. He refuses to call the doctor and make himself an appointment even if he has a fever and is coughing up blood. Up until recently, he only went to the doctor if he’d broken a bone and even that wasn’t a certainty. The one time he decided on his own he needed to go, he wound up in the emergency room hours away from blood poisoning. He would have gone sooner but I was in Jamaica with my family and couldn’t force him to go.

2. He needs someone to set boundaries for him. “Shouldn’t you go to bed? You have to be up in a few hours?” “Stop eating. You’re going to feel terribly if you don’t.” “Okay, 5 hours of Destiny is probably enough.”

3. I make sure he eats. Meals, not just snacks. If it weren’t for me constantly thinking about food making sure we had groceries, he wouldn’t eat real food. I know he used to eat healthy meals in the military but now, unless his meals are put together for him, he would exist on a combination of pub mixes from Costco, pistachios, and frozen meals that the Schwans man delivers to our door.

4. He wants all the toys. I know he likes it when I buy him clothes because I have awesome taste in men’s clothing t-shirts but I also know he would much prefer that I buy him toys. He has wants all the cycles (dirt, motor, bike), if he could, would spend all the money on them. Unfortunately, he has champagne tastes and wants the newest, best, and shiniest of all the things so that he can tear them apart and rebuild them into newer, better, and shinier things.

5. He just wants to play with his friends. Casey is in his element when he’s surrounded by people. I like people but also very much enjoy staying home with a good book a good TV show my family. We’ve had to do a lot of compromising when it comes to how we spend our time. Casey’s favorite time of the day is when he “checks the mail.” We both know that checking the mail is only an excuse to take his dirt bike out, ride around the neighborhood, and play with his friends socialize with people.

I don’t know if it’s a woman thing, a nurturer thing, or a love thing, but I don’t even (usually) mind doing these things for him. Because while I take care of him in lots of small ways, he takes care of me in others. That’s the beauty of marriage, right?
And while I have my man-child to cater to love, life will never be boring. How could it be from the back of a motorcycle?


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