that’s camping, y’all

Current destination: On the road from the Salt Lake City area

Next stop: Idaho Falls, Idaho (but merely as a waypoint – endgame is Glacier National Park)

Mood: Michelle is stoked, Casey is “very excited and optimistic about Glacier,” Zoey is “happy!” and Charley is playing with a ball

*****

Last Friday we made it to Moab, Utah, which was awesome and beautiful and HOT. On Saturday we went to a brewery (that only served beers with a 4% ABV and really Utah, you’re so weird), and spent some time shopping in the downtown area in the middle of the day when it was burning lava hot outside. On Sunday Casey and I took an early morning motorcycle ride through one of the parks and Casey’s parents followed us with the kids. It was incredible – I’ve never seen anything like it – but the best thing we did was take this magical hike out to a hidden waterfall and swim in the watering hole it fed into. Because we were forewarned that we would have to wade through knee-deep water to get there, we left our phones, so unfortunately, I don’t have any pictures to share (just memories).

On Monday we split off from my in-laws (who decided to go south to Bryce for a few days) and spent our time with friends both old and new in the Salt Lake area. We stayed in a pretty sweet RV park that doubled as an amusement park with mini-golf, a rock wall, a maze, water slides, a lazy river, two pools, and a pie shop. We got there too late to cook dinner the first night so we stopped by the snack shack for burgers, which were okay, fries that were stale, and “nachos” that were tortilla chips stacked next to a cup of gooey cheese. Needless to say, post-dinner we were pretty hungry. Fortunately, our fabulous neighbors had cooked a veritable feast of ribs and corn and mac and cheese (and beer) and offered us their leftovers. And such was the start of a beautiful friendship!

Over the next couple of days, in between water parking, we met up with old friends – Chrissy, who was like my sister growing up, and Gavin and Michael, roommates who recently moved to SLC from Houston. It was a lovely, but very chill week (which we needed), and I don’t have much to report.

I have, however, decided to share a few things I’ve learned about camping that no one thought to tell me beforehand so those of you with little to no camping experience can learn from me.

1. You probably won’t want to shower in your camper because either your shower is too small, your water tank fills too quickly, or it’s a combination of both and you have to take what basically amounts to spit showers where you turn the water off and on and freeze the whole time. This is all after you wait 10 minutes for the water to heat up because you forgot to turn the heater on earlier. Oh, and you probably won’t want to shave your legs because what’s even the point when your legs are too goose-bumpy to maintain smoothness.
2. You will probably burn everything you cook in your oven if you follow normal directions. To circumvent this, cook everything approximately 50 degrees lower than you normally would and check on it every 30 seconds or so. Or, better yet, don’t use the oven.
3. No matter how much packing up you do the night before, it will take you a minimum of an hour to leave every campsite. This does not include the amount of time you will spend discussing the route to your next destination, figuring out who needs gas and which stations have cheap diesel, and the multiple trips back into the camper for water, toys, snacks, and chapstick.
4. You will mean to stop at overlooks and “you are now entering” state signs, but the baby will be sleeping, so you won’t.
5. Campsites are not free, not even in national parks. You will spend anywhere from $20-$100 per night depending on location, location, location, and whether or not you want fancy amenities like water.

Regardless of the aforementioned things, you will all be so exhausted from driving, setting up, fresh air, arguing over whom should not tell who how to drive, and experiencing a whole new world that you will all sleep more soundly than you have in months. And that will make too cold showers, too hot ovens, and too much spending worth it.

But I guess that’s camping, y’all.